did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize