Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
