I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
