dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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