doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
