There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
