hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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