i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
