You smell like stripper and shame
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
