guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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