I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
