bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
