Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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