Apparently you make a good broom.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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