in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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