i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Mom said you looked used
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
