When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
