I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize