Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
