you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
pray to the hookup gods
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
