When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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