My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
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