They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
