Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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