she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize
