those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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