Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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