I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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