We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize