also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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