I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
