i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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