Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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