piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
