Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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