If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
