You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
