Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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