Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
