We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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