Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
