but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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