it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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