There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
