i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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