haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
