Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
