I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
