You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize