I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
