well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
