Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
