Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
