I hate your face
I need to stop coming to work sober
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
