There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
