Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm really busy with my period
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