do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
