note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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