Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
