I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
