I'm really into asian looking animals
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
soo... how was my night?
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